Fairy Godmothers

In telling Godmother #1:

Soon to be GM1: So, how's the nursing going? How's my little sweety!?!
Me: Well, you're never going to believe this, but I have mastitis...AGAIN.
Soon to be GM1: You're kidding me! How do you keep getting that?
Me: Well, they say I get it from Semisi.
Soon to be GM1: That. little. bastard.
Me: I know! I don't think he means to though.
Soon to be GM1: Sure. Sure.
Me: In other news, we're wondering if you'd do us the honor of being one of the little bastard's Godmothers?
(Obvs she said YES.)

In telling Godmother #2:

Me: Paul and I were wondering if you'd do us the honor of being one of Semisi's Godmothers!
Soon to be GM2: Really! That's AWESOME! OF COURSE I WOULD! Who's the Godfather?
Me: There is no Godfather. He's just having two Godmothers. You and GM1.
Soon to be GM2: Awesome! I'm going to call her. We'll be like the ambiguously gay Godmothers!
Me: Perfect!
Soon to be GM2: I'm so HONORED! Wait. What do I have to do? Do I need to like, read the bible or something?
Me: Nah. Just be like, nice and stuff.
Soon to be GM2: Well I have good morals. After all, I'll be like, 48 by the time I even offer him a beer.
Me: He'll only be 18 then.
Soon to be GM2: Correct.


  1. "That. Little. Bastard."

    OMG. I'm still laughing.

  2. hahahahah, love it.

    some of our friends gave us the stink eye when we called taylor a little bitch.

    she screamed for 4 hours and then had a blowout diaper. she was a little bitch.

    sorry about the mastitis again. that blows. :(

  3. Bahahaha!!! I think you've made the right choices.

    And poor dear with the double mastitis!

  4. Crap! Again? SO VERY SORRY!

    And hehehehehe! Great conversations! I like your chosen Godmothers! I think you made the right choices! :-)


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