How many marketing girls does it take to make a name tag?

I'm not sure what the answer to that question is, but last week TWO was apparently not enough.

My co-worker and I were working late last week to attempt to shore up some things for an event that was happening the next day. The final task of preparation on our list was the creation of roughly 150 nametags.

Easy enough, we thought. We've both done mail merges, we said. We've got the labels purchased, we noted. How hard could it be?

Pretty hard, apparently.

At one point I was in the "printer room" and Amy was at her desk across the great expanse of cubicles, and I was yelling ACROSS all the cubicles, "Hit it! We're ready! Hit print! Did you hit it? Did you hit print? Whaatt? Oh. Okay I'm waiting! Did you hit it yet?"

God only knows what the poor night janitor thought, who at that moment happened to be emptying the garbage in the coffee nook right around the corner from the "printer room".

We screwed up this task. Boy did we screw it up. The alignment was off. The first name wasn't big enough. The names were crooked. The sheet of labels was mutilated by the printer. The printer wouldn't PRINT the paper. The printer wouldn't FEED the paper. In the department of printer malfunctions, you name it, it happened.

When we were down to our last 20 sheets of labels, and we discovered that we needed (and I shit you not) EXACTLY 20 sheets to print off all the name tags necessary for the event (and NOT have to make a run to office depot at 9:00 at night), we knew we had to get serious.

And then, as if God finally said, "Okay, okay, okay, I've effed with these two yay-hoos enough," the labels suddenly printed. Perfectly.

The celebratory embrace at that moment could have rivaled any publisher clearing house footage. I'm not shitting you.

All that, just to introduce this, which exemplifies exactly how we felt that night.


  1. I tell you if it would not have worked that last time, people would have gotten some hand written name tags the next day : )

  2. Oh, Gah, I ALWAYS screw up labels. I went through an entire box of labels before I decided I'd hate it less to hand address 150 or so envelopes.

  3. Ah yes. It always seems as if it will be 100 time easier than it actually is. If you haven't seen Eddie Izzard's skit on computers/printers, I think you should.

  4. Blech. Those things are from the devil.

    Love the blog design!

  5. Nicole, I'll totally check it out! Thanks!

  6. Oh my god. I am literally in tears watching that video. I've watched it three times now and laugh harder each time. Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you and Amy survived the event! It always comes together!!

  7. I could feel your pain while I was reading that! It made me want to throw my computer down the trash compactor and stomp off to live in some backwoods cabin where I make my own jam from the blackberries I gather in the forest... But the canning would probably go horribly awry, so I would stomp back home and wish that my computer wasn't compacted.

    It's all really a no win.


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